[ for a moment, majima definitely looks shocked. how else would he react? he thinks of that man -- sagawa -- with his hands around his neck, threatening to kill him. he thinks about the torture while he'd screamed at his boss for some kind of relief and about getting arrested. maybe it shouldn't be surprising that he died, considering it seemed like every other memory he got he was practically asking for it either through poor actions or actual want. besides, they were yakuza - what kind life could they really claim? they'd both remembered each other older, after all.
there's another piece, though. the way he felt when he'd told sagawa he was going to live crazier than anyone. the deep, consuming sadness about that moment he hadn't told kiryu about. how he somehow always managed to leave out the emotional content when he told stories of his memories. maybe, for all kiryu was worried he was the one who didn't know how to tell these things, it was majima who was truly the one lying by omission. he still hadn't even told kiryu about the torture, and...the truth is, he knows he's wanted to die for awhile now. it's true in his memories, where he feels this underlying current of something he can't quite put his finger on, and it's been true in recollé, too. ever since his brother went to jail - he'd spent two years fighting nonstop like maybe the pain might ever be worse than the way it felt on the inside. like maybe it'd be enough to stop him from feeling so awful all the time.
but it never had. no matter how much he'd wanted to die, though, he'd never be able to do it. in way...in an awful, horrible, twisted way, what kiryu says is almost a relief. like one day this terrible pain would stop and it'd finally be over. and, so, after the initial shock, majima relaxes a little. he squeezes kiryu's hand and brings his free hand up to kiryu's face, gently running his thumb along his cheekbone.
the worst part is that kiryu wasn't there - and he figures kiryu feels pretty guilty about that. but considering they hadn't talked for like two years, maybe it's not that surprising. but that part does hurt. maybe it was for the best. or maybe it was just what he deserved. ]
It's okay. We were gettin' ta be old men, anyway, right? Can't expect Yakuza ta live forever.
cw; suicide ideation, torture, generally awful things
there's another piece, though. the way he felt when he'd told sagawa he was going to live crazier than anyone. the deep, consuming sadness about that moment he hadn't told kiryu about. how he somehow always managed to leave out the emotional content when he told stories of his memories. maybe, for all kiryu was worried he was the one who didn't know how to tell these things, it was majima who was truly the one lying by omission. he still hadn't even told kiryu about the torture, and...the truth is, he knows he's wanted to die for awhile now. it's true in his memories, where he feels this underlying current of something he can't quite put his finger on, and it's been true in recollé, too. ever since his brother went to jail - he'd spent two years fighting nonstop like maybe the pain might ever be worse than the way it felt on the inside. like maybe it'd be enough to stop him from feeling so awful all the time.
but it never had. no matter how much he'd wanted to die, though, he'd never be able to do it. in way...in an awful, horrible, twisted way, what kiryu says is almost a relief. like one day this terrible pain would stop and it'd finally be over. and, so, after the initial shock, majima relaxes a little. he squeezes kiryu's hand and brings his free hand up to kiryu's face, gently running his thumb along his cheekbone.
the worst part is that kiryu wasn't there - and he figures kiryu feels pretty guilty about that. but considering they hadn't talked for like two years, maybe it's not that surprising. but that part does hurt. maybe it was for the best. or maybe it was just what he deserved. ]
It's okay. We were gettin' ta be old men, anyway, right? Can't expect Yakuza ta live forever.